Dysphoria is such a weird brain trip. There are days like yesterday where I look at photos of me even a year ago when I had a beard where I can barely recognize that as the same person. The me I see in the photo seems more like a long lost relative who I used to know well and is now a stranger.
Then there are days like today where I look back at things like my wedding photos and I can put myself back in that moment. I think the times I can relate to my past self the most are times where I felt affirmed in my gender even if my presentation wasn’t what I wanted. My aggressively queer wedding was one of those moments. And my early childhood had a lot of those moments as well. It was after puberty started hitting and before I came into my own through my relationship with my spouse that are the hard times to look back on.