The saddest part for me about coming out late in life is that I missed out on having a girlhood. Sure, I did a lot of the girly things with my sister and my best friend. And I know I would have been a tomboy so my early life wouldn’t have been that different.
But there are a lot of formative experiences after puberty that I really miss not having. I never learned how to braid hair. I never got to experiment with makeup. And I didn’t get girl talk because no matter how much I tried to fit in with groups of girls, I was never fully accepted.
Instead I had to pretend to be a boy. I had to try to fit in and just feel awkward about the whole thing. I never felt like I could communicate with boys and I didn’t care about the things my peers did like sports and violence. The only boy I was ever close to ended up being gay. In retrospect, our friendship was the closest I ever got to dating in high school.
I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and have the right puberty at the right time. So if you have a trans teen or know one in your life, please advocate for hormone blockers and gender affirming care. Don’t let your teen miss out on having the life they want.