I wish my sexuality could be tied up in a nice little bow like so many other folks. As a teen I desperately wanted to be a lesbian without knowing that it was possible to transition and be that. But now that I’m here I find that lesbian is too simplistic of a label to accurately describe me.

Through some trial and error I’ve discovered that I really am bisexual. As much as I wish I wasn’t sometimes (because ew, boys are gross), I really am sexual attracted to people of all genders, including cis straight men on occasion. Being at a point in my transition where I am attractive to that demographic is honestly mind boggling.

But I’ve also discovered through experimentation that I am homoromantic. I’m attracted to people with similar genders to me. Women and enbies, usually on the femme side, with gender blurriness. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all the long term partners I’ve had in the last 6 years are nonbinary femmes.

So am I a lesbian if I’m primarily femme4femme? Or am I bisexual because I occasionally sleep with men? Or am I pansexual because my partners are usually nonbinary?

Luckily the word queer exists for a reason. And that reason is that sexuality and gender rarely fit into nice tidy boxes when it comes down to it.

So what am I? I’m a queer nonbinary trans woman. A mouthful but hey, it’s my reality.