I did it! After well over a year of trying I finally orgasmed from masturbation!
This feels like a major milestone for me. Sex with a partner is absolutely wonderful but it feels empowering to be able to give that to yourself when you need a release. I’m so happy to finally have gotten to this point in healing.
It’s been 17 months since my initial surgery and 3 months since my revision. It took a lot of experimentation and some fancy toys from Babeland but I finally got here!
I was so excited to reach the 6 week mark after my revision surgery so I could get in the hot tub and have sex again. But when I reached that point and did those things I started bleeding again. I went to the doctor to get it checked out and luckily it’s not an open wound but it is more granulation tissue.
That means that I need to treat it with silver nitrate weekly until it clears up and possibly wait another couple months before having sex or hot tubbing again. Ugh.
I’m back home safe and sound now and so happy to spend time with my pets and sleep in my own bed. One of my partners came down to join my spouse and I the last week and the two of them drove me back. We took two days and stopped often to stretch and keep my blood flowing.
Remarkably, the trip was pain free from a surgical site perspective which I didn’t expect. My back hurt by the end but that’s chronic pain life for you. Now that I’m home I’m going to be weaning off of the Gabapentin and hopefully feel less out of it.
I tried to take my normal 1 mile walk with the dogs this morning and realized halfway through that it was a bad idea. My body feels so weak and it was really hard to finish. Just because I’m not in pain doesn’t mean I’m fully healed. Now comes the hard part of letting people take care of me now that I’m home and feeling mostly better. I still can’t submerge in water, have sex, or lift anything heavy for another month.
I had my second and final post op appointment today and it was a bittersweet moment hopefully seeing my surgical team for the last time. Today’s big hurdle was the “bladder trial” where they pump me full of saline, take out the catheter and see if I can pee the full volume. Luckily this time I passed easily unlike after my first surgery. Everything else looked good other than my persistent yeast infection.
After that I hit the road and two of my partners drove me halfway back home. On Tuesday when I had a short outing in the car I was hurting a lot so I was worried but today was relatively pain free so I feel very thankful. I’m really lucky to have not one but two caretakers here with me. I wish everyone could have that privilege.
I miss my pets, my bed, my chosen family, my chair, and my mountain. I just want to be healing at home instead of stuck in an overpriced Airbnb in a strange city just because Seattle doesn’t have trans bottom surgeons.
When we talk about trans health equity, a big part of that is easy access to care instead of driving halfway down the coast (or across the state at best) and spending exorbitant amounts on housing to get the care we need.
Just had my first revision surgery post op where I was really hoping to get the catheter out. Sadly they want me to keep it in a week longer to give the urethra more time to heal. I also have a yeast infection. Otherwise I seem to be healing well though I do have to stay on top of separating the wound at the base of my vagina to make sure it doesn’t heal together like last time. They also gave me tips on how to better manage my pain without opiates.
The team at Mozaic Care are all so wonderful. I hate that I had to have a revision because my original surgery healed weird but I am glad I get to see more of them. Right before surgery when I was waiting for my operating room to be ready I told them about my first orgasm and both surgeons were so excited. One even gave me a hug on the spot.
The surgery appears to have gone well though it was a little more extensive than originally planned. While they were in there they discovered a hole in my urethra which explains why I was dribbling after I peed. They stitched it up so now I have a catheter and a pee bag tied to my leg for the next week.
The pain hasn’t been as bad as the first surgery but it’s enough that I have to stay on top of pain meds. I haven’t been sleeping well because I keep waking up when they wear off. And it’s painful to sleep on my side right now because that puts pressure on the stitches.
I’m pretty out of it because of the meds so as I’m mostly zoning out and watching bad TV. Hopefully soon I’ll start improving.
Today is my revision surgery on my vulva! The surgeon is going to be modifying my clitoris area to make it easier to access my remaining nerve bundle, removing some scar tissue at the opening of my vulva, and removing excess skin that grew around my urethra that causes me to dribble after I pee. I’m simultaneously glad to get these annoyances dealt with and scared that something is going to go wrong with the surgery or recovery to further damage my ability to orgasm. Fingers crossed everything goes and heals smoothly!
I did it! 1 year and 7 weeks after bottom surgery I finally had a full orgasm! I’m not sure what the magic formula was this time but I was trying out a new toy my partner got and a new topical cream that includes Viagra.
It definitely feels very different than my old parts did. It comes on slowly and has a more sustained high point and headiness to it. And I forgot just how wonderful all the happy hormones are that come with it.
I’m excited to have more of them and find out what works. And maybe someday I can get there on my own.
Finally a year after my bottom surgery I’m starting to have mini orgasms! I had the first one about a week before my surgery anniversary but I wasn’t sure what it was and I just had three more last night.
They feel like small crests of pleasure but nothing compared to what I was used to before surgery where there is a Big Bang and I’m done. I do come away from sex feeling happy and satisfied though instead of the disappointment and frustration of the last 9 months.
I was hoping for a lot more out of my first orgasm but at this point I’ll take anything I can get. Hopefully my revision surgery will make it a little easier to achieve and they continue to grow in amplitude.
Finding Haven 