3 Month “Graduation”

I had my final post op appointment in person today and got some confirmation and a little reassurance.

I was correct. The tip of my clitoris did in fact fall off. My freak out was totally warranted and it wasn’t normal.

The good-ish news is that my nerve bundle is still intact just under the skin and I should still be able to orgasm, though it may take another 6 months to regain enough feeling for that to happen. The lack of sensation at this point is completely normal. Eventually I’ll just have an erogenous zone there where a clit usually is, it will just be harder for people to find.

I am definitely disappointed. I feel simultaneously like I haven’t fully processed it and that I kinda did process it several weeks ago when it happened. But as long as I can eventually orgasm, this surgery will still have been worth it. The reduction in dysphoria and the euphoria I get from being able to pee properly are a significant improvement. I just wish I didn’t have to be the one with the weird complication.

Otherwise I’m healing well. They treated the granulation tissue spots with silver nitrate and sent me home with a cream that will clear them up so they stop bleeding. I’m making good progress with the dilators and hopefully it should be smooth sailing from here other than waiting to have orgasms. Crossing my fingers that those eventually work right.

4 thoughts on “3 Month “Graduation””

  1. I am sorry to hear the bad news about your clit, but as you said you should still be able to orgasm being the nerve bundle is there.

    I am glad though that your healing is progressing. I have a suggestion. If you find where that e-zone is then you will be guide your partner(s). I don’t know how you feel about masturbation, but it could be very helpful figuring out what turns you on so to speak and can teach your partner(s) know how to please you. (I included the extra (s) because I do not know if you would have multiple partners. I am polyamorous so I would. Right now I have none (lol).

    The pee pee situation is one of my major reason for seeking the surgery. I have know idea whether I actually want to have sex with my neo-vagina to be. I know I don’t want a zero-depth one just in case. And being able to play with a real clitoris of mine would probably be enjoyable, but penetration is not something I think about. The major reason though is to rid myself of those nasty male things, and have a real female primary sex organ. Just to have it would be a pleasure.

    Yes, I am hoping for your full success, despite the issue with your clit.

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  2. Hello Haven,

    I’m sorry to hear about your GCS complications. Your story about your neo-clit is very scary. I had zero-depth GCS almost two years ago. I chose zero-depth because I am a lesbian and while I’d prefer to have a vagina I was concerned about my commitment to the dilation process. I’m happy with my decision.

    I also had granulation tissue that was treated with silver nitrate. Gosh, that was so painful. Unsurprisingly in hindsight I also have some remaining nerve discomfort due to the surgery that I feel in certain situations like riding a bicycle.

    I have a neo-clitoris but thus far haven’t been orgasmic via self-masturbation. Part of it, I think, is that masturbation is less interesting to me than it was before transition. That said, I have gotten aroused by women I’ve dated so I look forward to making love and seeing how it all works then. My point is that (speaking only for myself of course) if I’m not orgasmic even then I imagine that the closeness and other parts of our togetherness will be so fulfilling that the orgasm won’t be missed so much.

    I hope this provides some small measure of help and wish you the best as you move forward.

    Emma

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  3. Pingback: Trying to orgasm – Finding Haven

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